In 2010, my mother suffered a critical fall that led to her being placed in a nursing home. From that moment, I began traveling back and forth from Arizona to Boston every three to four months to care for her. 

 

During these visits, I dedicated myself to ensuring she had everything she needed. Even though I wasn’t particularly skilled at primping, I lovingly applied her makeup, did her nails, and helped her look and feel her best.

 

We also spent quality time together, going to the mall to pick out new clothes.  Despite being confined to a wheelchair, I always wheeled her in between the clothing racks so she could look at the selection of clothing. 

 

When we returned to her room, I would discard her old clothing on the floor.  At first, she would object, and I told her in Yiddish, "Momma, these are "shmutties," which means rags.  She would begin to giggle each time I threw another piece of old clothing on the floor. 

 

I would then remove the tags from the new clothing, place them on a hangers, and hold each one up to show her.  She always smiled and would then say,“Thank you, doll,” which meant the world to me. These moments were filled with love and connection, and they became a cornerstone of my healing journey.

 

At one point, my mother suffered two strokes, and I had to take on the role of feeding her. I remember one day at breakfast when I was feeding her cereal, the milk dribbled down her chin.  We both laughed as I took a napkin and wiped her face.  What could have been an embarassing moment turning into one of deeper connection and love.

 

In 2013, as I navigated the pain of my partner’s betrayal, my journey of forgiveness deepened. My first teacher guided me to forgive myself and my mother, other family members and my previous partner. This process transformed my pain into compassion.

 

Throughout this decade, I lived between two time zones, often exhausted but blessed to have a supportive job. The moments of care, the laughter, the tears, and even the final moments when my mother opened her eyes before passing away were all part of this profound journey.

 

These experiences ultimately shaped my path to self-love and healing, helping me find peace and strength.  

​

It also empowered me to help others embark on their own paths of healing and transformation through forgiveness and love.

​